We’re constantly told to never give up — to push harder, love harder, do more, be more. But what if there’s a sacred kind of freedom in surrendering? What if “giving up” isn’t failure, but a radical act of self-respect? This isn’t about quitting life — it’s about quitting the noise. The pressure to keep up, to be perfect, to hold all the things together. In this post, we’re exploring the art of giving up — and how it might just be the most important thing you’ll ever do.
Giving Up Isn’t Failing — It’s Reclaiming Peace
How many times have you sat in the car, too exhausted to take one more project, one more call, one more kid complaint? Were you filled with unexplainable guilt or sadness when you realized giving up wasn’t an option? Society often equates quitting with weakness. Any number of taglines could be reformatted to fit the never give up mindset: “Just Do It” from Nike, or xxxxxx. A favorite in my home growing up, especially when things were tough: “It’ll be ok…it has to be.”
It wasn’t until my late 30’s I realized the suffocating danger behind the push to never give up. I realized there’s a quiet strength in walking away from what no longer serves you. The expectations that come with friendships, jobs, tasks at home and outside of the home can sometimes drown you. Letting go of the pressure to prove yourself — as a perfect mom, the very best employee, or an endlessly supportive friend — opens up space for clarity, authenticity, and emotional well-being.
This came to me during one earth-shattering moment of realization. I’ll never forget the freedom I felt, walking into the house after being gone for a day. It was in worse condition than when I left, at that moment, I stopped caring. When my kids’ father said “Yeah, we didn’t get anything done,” I felt total relief in saying “It’s ok. I didn’t expect anything done anyway.” If the only other adult in the house didn’t care, why did I? So I gave up.
Stop Chasing Approval and Start Honoring Yourself
From the time we are young, we are trained to compete and impress. From the elementary school track and field to the boardroom presentations, to the suburban cul-de-sac. The fastest, the smartest, the best – to our teachers, our coworkers, our neighbors. Don’t get me wrong – there should always be a desire to be our best in anything we do. No one should be lazy or disagreeable all the time.
However, trying to impress others — neighbors, social media followers, extended family — is an exhausting hamster wheel. Giving up that chase means recognizing your own worth without external validation. It’s okay to want more for yourself, but not at the cost of your sanity or self-respect.
My struggles came in the form of my in-laws. There was an…unspoken…competition between the siblings that trickled down into the individual families. I tried, for years, to “fit in” with my kids and my own house. It was quickly (but not really) apparent I wasn’t going to win that rat race. So I gave up. And it’s made my children – and myself – much relaxed in a tense environment.
Relationships Don’t Have to Work Out
Not every relationship is meant to be. Sometimes, giving up on trying to fix things is the healthiest move you can make. Whether it’s a friendship that drains you or a romantic connection where you’re the only one putting in effort, stepping away is an act of self-love, not betrayal.
Please don’t misunderstand me – no relationship is 50/50 effort and time all the time. There are many occurrences throughout your relationships with friends and lovers where it will be uneven. Life is full of ups and downs, and you have to carry each other through those waves. But when it becomes constant – or expected – that you are doing all the work, it may be time to reevaluate your role and how long you can sustain that.
Surrendering the “Superwoman” Complex
You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be it all. Giving up on being the “perfect” mom, partner, daughter, or employee gives you permission to be human. Flawed. Tired. Real. And when you stop striving for perfection, you create room for joy in the messy, beautiful middle.
In Letting Go, You Find Freedom
The act of giving up can be the beginning of something new. New peace. New priorities. A lighter, freer you. It’s not about abandoning dreams but releasing the ones that were never truly yours to carry. When you give up the weight of proving and performing, you finally come home to yourself.
